Personal Philosophy

        “I gotta make a move, I gotta do this now. If they don’t know your dreams, then they can’t shoot them down.” – Jermaine Cole. There will be many people in your life very close to you who will either: doubt you, praise you, support you, or put you down. With so many expectations, the mixture of a social life, family and school is extremely compressing. High school is that time in life where you are confused about, well everything. You are trying to find out where you fit in and discovering a little bit about yourself every day. Social life these days circulates around technology and social networks. Now you have to worry about your public image on global sites as well as physical appearance. As for your family--they can either be very stressful on you about your studies and decisions in life or could care less. I have the type of family that has very high expectations for me and pushes me about my education every single day. With all that being said, I have learned to keep my dreams to myself. I have people in my life that I have revealed to about what I would like to do with my life, and they were not particularly fond of my plan. I realized then that my dreams are my personal belongings that I do not have to share with others, because if I do not share them with anyone, then no one can take them away from me. I can keep them locked up in my heart, mind and soul, and no one can find out and tell me otherwise.

         I have learned to keep my wishes and dreams secrets since a very young age. I grew up in a tough household. It was always an unwelcoming and dark atmosphere. My father was the boss of the house at all times and kept me busy with a lot of educational material. He pushed me a lot and yelled at me if I did not understand a new topic the second time around. He was a very temperamental and harsh man. I guess you could say that half of my stress to this day is due to his constant critique about my performance in school and my personal decisions in life. Anyways, my dad has always interfered in my personal life. He has gone through my phone, read my diary and has gone through papers on my desk to find anything he could go off on me about. He has found out some of my biggest dreams in life, and has spoken negatively about all of them. He never tries to understand why I want to do what I plan to do because he does not know me, his own daughter. As a result, I have refrained from writing out my dreams and discussing them within his vicinity. I have halted all sorts of ways in which he could find out more of my dreams. He is the main reason why I keep my deepest thoughts to myself.

         Although it seems like I keep a bit too much to myself like the Illuminati, I assure you I don’t. I’m not a complete outcast; I just believe that the more people are aware of your intentions, the more they are capable of putting you down. There is also praise involved, but negativity outweighs the positive in most situations to be truly honest. I have found that keeping my deep, inner thoughts to myself has prevented conflict with my father and halted opposition from other opinionated sources. So for now, I’m just doing as much of me as possible. Like Shameless Maya says, “Do you boo!”